darthfandomcom-20200214-history
KHAAAN
KHAAAAAAAAN!!! Solo was a demented psychopath from the planet Kooozebane. He was famous for being greeted with screams of "KHAAAAAAAAN!!!" by his surpised victims. He would Destroy Your Planet whenever he could. Oh, and he hated twinkies. Really. Biography Life KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!'s destructive career began at the age of two when during a Life Day celebration he and his Rubber Ducky tripped over a woodchuck while carrying a spatula, fell atop a bantha who, startled by the sudden impact, trampled a mid-level bureaucrat who dropped the datapad she was carrying, which hit the ground in such a way that it exploded, the shrapnel of which scored a hit on the local power station control man who, thinking there was an attack, shut down all power without informing his superiors who were at that moment running a diagnostic test on the Alderaan planetary shield generator, a test which involved overriding the emergency power-overload prevention process, causing a detonation which wiped out the entire population but him and his Rubber Ducky. KHAAAAAAN!!! found he enjoyed it. In fact, he enjoyed it so much he did it again. This made him feel better about himself. KHAAAAAAAN!!! then proceeded to Taris, where he killed a beetle when it landed on his nose. This infuriated a local cult who held them sacred. KHAAAAAAAN!!! used Force PWN and pwned them. Their last words were the cry of "KHAAAAAAAAN!!!" He liked that so much he would always ask his victims to say it. He always said thank you afterwards. He then escaped the authorities by stealing an inter-galactic Ice Cream Truckhttp://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/USS_Reliant. Ten years later he used his Rubber Ducky to wipe out the Jedi on his home world of Koozebane. He then proclaimed himself to be a Mega Supah Dupah Sith Overlord, a title that had since fallen out of favor with his more well known colleagues. With his Rubber Ducky and new title, he set out in his Ice Cream Truck and a fleet of dirigibles for Endor. On his arrival at Endor, he established KHAAAAAAN!!!'s Ewok Burger Patties, a fast food chain. The locals were not happy with this turn of events and popped his dirigibles with they're sticks. This displeased KHAAAAAAAAN!!!, so he PWNed them with his beloved Rubber Ducky and Ice Cream Truck. They were so PWNed that he had no more Ewok Burger Patties to sell. This made him sad, because he was really starting to like the Business. But he reminded himself that Gungans made good Corn Dogs, and left he the system. Death {{quote|From Hell's own heart I cast my hair clippings in your general vicinity! Your father was a Gizka and your mother smelt of Gungan hair gel! Why, I'll Destroy Your Planet!|KHAAAAAAAN!!! KHAAAAAAAAN!!! was feeling good with himself. But he missed the turn signal in hyperspace and ended up in Hell. Not only that, but he had sent his Rubber Ducky to Nabooboo to oversee the creation of KHAAAAAAANS!!!'s Kentucky Fried Gungan Steakhouse and Taters Fast Food Chain. It remains unknown how he died, though some suspect he angered the local Deity. Details of his demise remain uncertain. See Also *James CAAANNN!!! *Gengis KHAAANNN!!! *KHAANN!!!-ie Chung. *The KHAANN!!!-dy man KHAANN!!!. Yes the KHAANN!!!-dy man KHAANN!!!. *SWKHAAAN the KHAAAN wiki that anyone KHAAAN edit. *KHAAAN you dig it? *Or why not his evil twin KHAAAAAAAANN!!! Category:Weird stuff Category:Losers Category:Bad Guys Category:Awesome People Category:Articles that are just wrong Category:Butchers Category:Cowardly assassination Category:Burritos Category:Humans Category:Idiotic statements Category:Overall Eviltude Category:Sith